Christianity's contributions to the life sciences
A popular Christian pastime is tying to discount the theory of evolution. The ultimate proof of the value of the theory of evolution is simply that it has led to great improvements in our lives. In fact, it has far outstripped Christianity in this regard. Evolution is the foundation of the fields of biology, genetics, and medicine, which have all greatly improved our quality of life and longevity. This increased depth of understanding and the positive impact to our lives are strong testaments to the truth of Darwin's theory.

In contrast, creationism, and Christianity in general, has little to offer in the way of a credible explanation for life on this planet. In this essay, which is something of a tongue-in-cheek rant, we explore the contributions of Christianity in the area of life sciences in order to better gauge Creationism and Christianity as a way of viewing and understanding the world. The idea being that if Creationism were true, something of worth might come of it. (Don't worry. It hasn't.) We'll start with creationism as a movement and then consider other aspects of Christianity as it relates to the life sciences.

Creationism

According to the Bible, we were created in the image of God--a perfect being who has made us as imperfect copies of himself, as his supreme, but somewhat flawed, masterpiece. (We give him an "A" for effort, though.) From this premise, creationists created a new "science" of fact ignoring and wishful thinking to promote their cause and have banded together to vehemently deny they have belly buttons. Despite their huge loss in the famous Scopes-monkey trial, they continue to promote miseducation in schools throughout the United States. The latest version of "creation science" is the so-called "argument of intelligent design", which is debunked elsewhere on this web site. Not that Christians care, mind you, denial of the truth is a test of faith to them.

Care for the Ecosystem

According to the Bible, all life on this planet is for man's disposal. This is because man is supposedly God's supreme creation of the universe and the animals... well, they're just lowly creatures. Presumably, everything is to be eaten, since the Bible prohibits most other things done with animals. Never mind that chimps and humans share nearly the same genetic makeup. Those apes don't have a Bible, so they're only fit to be our dinner. "God bless this food that we are about to eat because it wasn't as self-righteous as we are."

"Go Forth and Multiply"... Exponentially

In order to heed Godís word about multiplying, everyone should be busy making babies (and praying at all other times, of course). If you haven't had at least 15 kids yourself, you're just not going to make it to Heaven. Sorry, but God needs more people to worship him, given that his ego (and insecurity) is bigger than the universe. Never mind that under this plan, after a few years, there won't be any room left on the planet for anyone to stand. We can just stand on someone's shoulders. This is probably the real reason God designed us so that we can make babies standing up--in the missionary position, of course.

It's a good thing, too, about all that food that God provided us to eat. We'll need it. Eventually, though when we run out of plants and animals, Christians can just start eating the unconverted--those pesky heathens who just won't believe the myths no matter how much they're coerced or tortured. Those little bits of Christ's body and blood they serve in church on Sunday will just be a cannibalistic hors d'oeuvre. The main course will be atheist kabob--cooked on a spit, or perhaps slow roasted secular humanist. Christians already have perfected the technology of burning people at the stake. Doing it for a meal will take on an even deeper religious significance as a wholesome and nutritious campfire family values bonding experience for every Christian man, his wife, and their herd of children.

Medicine

Christian Science, founded by Mary Baker Eddy, promotes the use of prayer in lieu of medicine. She was a great leader in shortening peoples' lives through bogus mental gymnastics. It is still a common practice to pray for the ill, though praying is a lot like masturbation. It makes the person doing it feel better, but it doesn't have any other effect. (Of course, Christianity considers masturbation taboo because it presumably is more fun than prayer and it slows the pace of making babies.)

And what would Christianity be without faith healers? It's too bad that faith healing only works on the brainwashed and the healthy and only if it's done in auditoriums full of gullible dupes. We asked renowned faith healer Carlos Anacodia to explain how he does his faith healing, he could only respond, "Goo blah! Woo hoo!" Unfortunately, a speaking-in-tongues translator could not be located to interpret his remarks. However, he did graciously offer to translate himself, for a nominal fee.

Just think what would happen if the Christians ran the World Health Organization or the Center for Disease Control. Upon hearing that there was an Ebola outbreak, they would have a televised prayer revival meeting complete with twitching and supposed revelations in forgotten languages. The collection plate would be passed and the victims blamed for not being Christian. Then, after deciding that they couldn't do anything constructive, they'd sit around and wait for Jesus to return.

In 2003, the Roman Catholic Church declared that condoms do nothing to prevent AIDS and therefore should not be used. This is a shameless and irresponsible lie that only serves to lengthen the AIDS epidemic. See also "Slap A Condom On The Vatican". A similar disinformation campaign has been undertaken by the religiously motivated Bush administration.

Mother Teresa, who has a reputation a compassionate healer of the poor in India was really a sadist who thought that suffering was holy. The millions of dollars she collected did little to benefit the people in her "care". Her main talent seems to have been promoting herself as an icon. The Catholic Church seems to like this sort of thing as it has worked hard to make her a saint, despite the obvious deceptions in her beatification process. Of course the creation of saints has always been a study in conflict of interest.

Famine and Plagues

The Christian perspective is simply that people dying in a famine deserve to die. They are either praying to the wrong god, or they're not doing it right. Who are we to question God's will? Everybody needs a hobby and his is killing people. Famine, plagues, and floods are his specialty. Besides, we'll all really appreciate a good famine when there's no place to stand on the planet.

The once popular Christian sport of witch hunts were the church's response to the plagues of the middle ages. This is yet another example of the utter stupidity and cruelty of a church that claims to speak for an all-knowing and benevolent God.

Torture

Thanks to Christianity, we had the dark ages. All knowledge was suppressed--especially if it contradicted church doctrine. Pretty much any thought or action against the church was considered heresy. Heretics were given over to that wonderful Christian establishment, the Spanish Inquisition (or another like group), for "questioning". (Kinda reminds you of the Taliban, doesn't it?) Of course, they had a great array of torture implements to help get the right answer from you. Mostly, they just mercilessly murdered people out of a deep sense of Christian love and piety. Thanks goes to Christianity for advancing the cause of sadism.

Medical Ethics

Christian medical ethics is a euphemism for futilely trying to stop reality from crashing in on your little fantasy world. No longer able to torture people to get the population to see things their way, the church has cast itself as a would-be great moral arbiter. Usually, when there's a medical breakthrough, the church is right there to solemnly say how evil it is. "God wants women to die in child birth," "pain and suffering are good," or some such nonsense. Nobody seems to remember that the church used to be an institution of torture and has had a lot of difficulty telling right from wrong over the years, despite it's supposedly close relationship with an all-knowing God. That anybody takes Christian medical ethics seriously is a mystery to me.

The real science of medicine was hindered considerably by the notion that the human body should not be desecrated after death, lest the soul not ascend to heaven, or some similar idea. Meanwhile, medical science is still looking for the soul. Maybe it's hiding in a cave in Afghanistan.

Of course that all-important taboo about desecrating bodies didn't stop the church from making a business out of displaying the body parts of various saints to draw the in crowds. After a while, they realized that the relics didn't have to be authentic, but just vaguely plausible. And since the church largely controlled what education people had, they had a lot of control over peoples' sense of plausibility. P.T. Barnum would be proud. Who knows, maybe he even got some of his ideas from them.

Mental Health

The mentally ill are obviously possessed by the devil and are to be treated accordingly. Torture and various questionable "treatments" were the order of the day for most of the Christian era. Things have improved considerably for the mentally ill in recent years. Now they've got a purpose in life--standing on street corners ranting about God at the top of their lungs.

Homosexuals, who are an abomination to God, are to be "cured" through religious brainwashing as an act of love. Nobody but Christians (and other religious zealots) think that homosexuality is a disease. The cures simply don't work and they harm the victim. Sadly, the victims often commit suicide. (Of course, their homosexuality is blamed.) Christianity's shining examples of the converted can't seem to stay converted for very long. The whole thing is a sham to amass political power by vilifying an enemy, while pretending to "heal the sick" out of the kindness of Christian love.

Sexual Mores

Christianity has done a great job of giving people complexes over their normal sexuality. When you have the view that anything that's not making babies is an abomination, sex with children seems like a reasonable alternative. No doubt, the church has created more pedophiles with its guilt trips about sexuality than would otherwise exist. They've also given many of them jobs and abetted their behavior by trying to sweep the ugly issue under the rug instead of addressing pedophilia as a problem.

Christianity views women as baby factories and many women even take pride in this role. Birth control is verboten and, because of Christianity, was difficult to acquire until this century. Traditionally, women who were pregnant out of wedlock were sent to convents for religious indoctrination (and baby, too). Some Christians have even asserted that teen pregnancy is caused by militant homosexuals, though what sense does that make?

And Finally...

By far, though, Christianity's biggest contribution to the life sciences is its descent into irrelevance. Yea verily, and Godspeed!